Family is the cornerstone of society and can be used as a measure for the development of civilization. In America, personal freedom has been seen as the most valuable asset to stand by. But after returning to China and living with my Chinese families, I started to change my mind. This chapter, Extremacy – Extreme Intimacy is dedicated to explaining the whys.
Extremacy
When I first started working during my return to China, I lived with my aunt and went to bed with her. Every night before going to bed, we will talk about a few things. In the morning, my aunt will get up and prepare breakfast for me. Before going out to work, she would check on me to see if I wear enough clothes to combat the cold outside. Even on an interview, my aunt has to follow me and stay in the lobby till I walk out from the office. In fact, I am already a full-grown woman with the ability to make decisions. But to my aunt, I’m conditioned for not known enough of the “China Codes”. It seems to her that I am a little sheep who will bump into a wolf at any time:) At first I was overwhelmed by my aunt’s protection. But when I start to remember the hot meal at home after work every day, consider my family’s attitude when I accept a boy’s proposal, and hear the teachers’ blame on their students fault with so many worryness in their tone, as if their students are their own children, and the future of these children is their future.
I remember that in the United States, like many of my partners, I had my own car and apartment before I went to college at the age of 18. This is the first step for young individuals to enter society. We have heard parents say to us: This is my house, if you live here then you have to live by my rules.” Many children in the United States and I have learned to drive on high speed freeways, change tires, purchase insurance, and perform the duty to pay taxes to the state every year. I learned independence and saw many elders spend the rest of their life in the nursing homes. In the 2018 CNN survey of California homeless, 42% of homeless have no family support. There is also a survey showing that many families in Hong Kong are living in a crowded space mirroring a parking lot. The father’s tears run down helpless when facing the camera in the interview. On one hand, there’s this group of people who are completely free with no restraint and no one to rely on. The other hand a family suffers in a confined living environment but is dependent on each other. These two phenomena are the social problems that the United States and China are currently deliberately facing. In contrast, I think the US problem is more difficult because it involves not only the housing problem, but also the spiritual concern which is much harder to fulfill.
Legendary Chinese Medicine
I have long heard of the profoundness of Chinese medicine but never learned until my body is out of wrack. It all started at the busiest time during my startup venture. At that time, I was desperately seeking fundings to start a yoga and health club in L.A. I worked on 4 different jobs and often sleep in the car during a busy day. Maybe I haven’t been eating meat for 8 years or maybe due to the 6 month of non-stop working hours, I eventually fainted and taken to the emergency room for two consecutive days. The second time in the ER, my heartbeat has fallen to 40/HRM. I spent a fortune doing CT scans and blood testing in the US to trace the symptoms in the purpose to find the root cause of my illness. But all of the results came out normal. For the next 6 months, I starting having dizziness periodically. It happens so often that I had to stop my teaching jobs. So I decided to give up the opportunity to start a business and phoned the family in China to inform them of the news of returning home.
After returning, I went to visit several large hospitals in Baotou to run systemic examinations. Fortunately, the report is all right. But my poor condition didn’t go away. Therefore, I went to visit a local Chinese medicine clinic.
It was a small place with only a facade. The doctor is like a middle-aged man over 40 years old. He first asked me about the illness. I simply told him about my medical history and explained my symptoms to him. He listened carefully and nodded while reading my pulses with his right hand placed on my wrist. Then he looked at my tongue and said that I have ‘blook deficiency’. He asked me when I had my last period. I suddenly remembered it was months past. After telling the doctor, he first determined that I was not pregnant then he gave me a prescription. The prescription is a 3 weeks course of treatment which consists of two ingredients – antler and Lizhong pills. I need to take 3 times a day, 2 big balls and 2 bottles each time. A total of ¥600 with the consultation fees included. Although I was a bit skeptical, the firm expression from the doctor made me finally took the medicine home. Before I left, he gave me a remedy for soaking feet. [Figure]
My friend cracked up and said to me after reading this remedy: “Is this the ingredient for stewed pig’s trotters?”
I took the prescribed drug accordingly, every morning, evening, and night. That bitterness… I can’t help but roll my eyes behind the lid every time when I swallow it. Suprisely, my body started to show a significant difference in the short weeks. After the menstrual period became normal. The symptoms of dizziness also disappeared.
Partner In Crime
He is a poetic and sensible Taurus man. I am a temperamental and libra woman. We met in the gym where I taught on the weekdays.
George, the name I gave him later, because it sounds deep like a professor. Although George didn’t earn a high education, he is diligent and eager to learn. Once I went to the temple to worship god with him, I found that this man who always praised my lifestyle is an expert in the ancient scriptures. When passing by different Buddha’s face, he told me about their origins and allusions. I felt very admired.
Later I learned that George’s rising sign is Leo. And most of my constellation proportions are occupied by Aries. Many Leo and Aries friends meet each other favorably. George said that it is a pity that we met each other late.
When I was about to return to the United States, he took several days off to accompany me for morning exercises, lunch, and take me to school. With his company, we practiced yoga, challenged 24 hours Korean hot sauna, played chess, flew a kite, hit table tennis, ice skating, jumped on a trampoline, and enjoyed many local cuisines. We often share happy memories and feel the misfortunes from some of the past events for each other. I wonder why in the United States I have never met someone like George?
Although, the days in the United States are rather lonely, most of my friends only get to hang out on the weekend. I still chose to settle in the United States. Because of the diversity and the well-protected natural environments. After I came back, I wanted to continue my MA student in education and concentrate on the research until I became an expert. Although the road to achieving dreams is very difficult. But I believe ahead of me is the victory! I hope that every now and then I visit China, I have a lot to share.
